In a lighter mood! Tech Joke!

Dear Tech Support,

Last year I upgraded from *Boyfriend 5.0* to *Husband 1.0* and I noticed a
distinct slowdown in the overall system performance, particularly in the
flower and jewellery applications, which operated flawlessly under
*Boyfriend 5.0.*

In addition, *Husband 1.0* uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
*Romance 9.5 *and *Personal Attention 6.5,* and then installed undesirable
programs such as *NEWS 5.0*, *MONEY 3.0* and *CRICKET 4.1.

Conversation 8.0* no longer runs, and *Housecleaning 2.6* simply crashes the
system. Please note that I have tried running *Nagging 5.3 *to fix these problems,
but to no avail. What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate

* ----------------------------------------------------------- *

DEAR DESPERATE,

First, keep in mind, *Boyfriend 5.0* is an Entertainment Package,
while *Husband 1.0* is an operating system.

Please enter command: *ithoughtyoulovedme.html*and try to download *Tears
6.2* and do not forget to install the *Guilt 3.0* update.
If that application works as designed, *Husband1.0* should then
automatically run the applications *Jewellery 2.0* and *Flowers 3.5. *

However, remember, over use of the above application can cause
*Husband 1.0*to default to
*Silence 2.5,* *Happy Hour 7.0* or *Beer 6.1.*
Please note that *Beer 6.1* is a very bad program that will download
the *Farting
and Snoring Loudly Beta. *

Whatever you do, *DO NOT* under any circumstances install *Mother-In-Law 1.0
*(it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of
all your system resources.)

In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the *Boyfriend 5.0* program.
These are unsupported applications and will crash *Husband 1.0.*

In summary, *Husband 1.0* is a great program, but it does have limited
memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying
additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend:
*Cooking 3.0* and *Hot Looks 7.7. *

Good Luck Babe! *

Tech Support*